Friday, November 2, 2018

Social Media: Stop Trying to Please People Who Don't Care About You

Pastor Kris and his friend Jamaica Cone from Revolution Church
By Kris Freeman
Pastor, Revolution Church
Sports Information Director, White House High School


"You post a lot on social media."

Yes. That is correct. I am a promoter. I love to enhance the things I am a part of, share about my family, post about athletes, students, friends and their achievements. It's both my JOB and my personality.

I grew up never believing in myself and ashamed of the person I thought I was. I was bullied, had no self-confidence and believed I was never good enough. And plenty of people told me those things until I believed them.

In today's generation, there are plenty of old-school personalities who have turned into online bullies and may not even realize the control they attempt to exercise on others around them. In the words of the immortal Bob Newhart, let me share this groundbreaking advice to you when listening to the opinions of others who detract from your journey:

"Stop it."

I would love, one time, to return that retort with a comment, "you sure pay a lot of attention to it." But that would not be nice, of good character, nor reflect the values of what I and all of us hope to stand for. Instead, let's help each other fight back the bullies with a better approach.

There is a point to what I want to share with you today. Stop trying to please people who don't truly care about you. Use social media as a positive tool and don't let anyone with a negative voice stand in the way of what you want to convey or achieve.

Now, with that said, keep it positive, inspirational, fun, and informative. Cut out the social drama from your circles and you will be less likely to create it or be bothered by the same.

We spend a large majority of our lives worrying about the opinions of others who often do not represent critical steps in the journey of achieving our dreams and realizing the potential for what God has placed within your grasp to achieve.

Social media is a powerful, viral tool in the lives of millions of people in the world. A network of opportunities lie before us, and those networks often are based on what audience and desire with which we wish to connect. For example:

  • Facebook is informational and connects to your family, former classmates and network of friends, businesses and products
  • Instagram is visual and immediate and connects to a younger generation and rapidly expanding
  • Twitter is linked and connects to a variety of breaking news, media, current events, live feeds
  • Snapchat is filtered and fun, but quickly being replaced/matched by Instagram
  • Pinterest is....ok, I'm not even answering that one cause I lose my man card. ;)
Our network of friends and followers has become increasingly important to our influence and self-worth. The unfortunate side of this phenomenon is the number of people who obsess over the number of likes, comments and feedback a post receives.

Even more, a few of you reading this might be addicted to social media and legitimately need to back off.

Yes, I post a lot. In fact, what you may not know is that I monitor social media accounts for my own personal life, plus at least four large organizations including my church, sports media, a high school and a non-profit.

Here are some critical tips to managing your social media which I believe will be beneficial on your journey:

  1. Keep it fun - Social media is designed to be a network of connecting information. Keep it fun. Post pictures, share with friends and family, let your personality shine. Bring a positive light to your news feed that reflects the values of the things which are important to you. Like Jesus? Share scriptures. Love music? Share songs. Enamored with photography? Let's see the bright colors of your world. Do sports or cars make you tick? Then brand up your wall with what you like. Make social media an online representation of what we might see on your bedroom wall as a teenager and use the tool to let others get a glimpse into your life.
  2. Check your privacy - On the flip side of fun is the sad reality of our culture. Social media can be full of predators, both seeking to harm us and our children, and threatening to steal your personal information for spam or fraud. In every social network, be sure you understand the privacy levels, change passwords frequently and monitor suspicious activity. When it comes to your children and especially teens, make sure they understand the dangers of checking into public places and more importantly posting pictures and tags which identify their personal residence and places they spend the majority of their time. Be careful about posting your location when you are away from a vacant home. Watch closely about checking in to parking garages or public events and retailers with huge parking lots where you leave late at night.
  3. Be a fan, not a stalker or groupie - A great way to connect with celebrities, sports teams, athletes, musicians and artists is through social media. Trust me, they appreciate and desire your following as it builds their brand and media profile and that means money to their advertisers and agents and endorsement deals. Yet with that following comes a responsible way to interact. Don't send private messages to public figures through social media - most likely you will be blocked, ignored or never have access to them personally. Celebrities do not appreciate scary fans - they both avoid you and likely make fun of your fandom. Second, avoid obsessive posts. If an athlete retweets you on their birthday, be thankful. But remember there are 1.3 million of others just like you on their feed and it may not mean you are now in their circle. They don't owe you the responsibility of seeing every attempt for you to connect. Be responsible, have fun and help them build a productive brand.
  4. Ignore the naysayers and negative people - This is the big one. There are tremendous tools for unfollowing people and posts without removing your connection as a friend. If a person is constantly negative about what you post, then kindly ask them to unfollow. If this becomes controlling and obsessive, then you may have to do the same. Any behavior that results in disruptive communication? Block it. I have plenty of friends who hate sports and many friends who don't attend church. I suspect that because of such, I have been hidden from a LOT of news feeds. And that's OK! It does not mean I will stop posting. The message that needs to be shared will be seen by the people who appreciate you and WANT to connect with your world. Stop trying to please people who don't share in your journey. If their opinions are constantly negative, then perhaps they weren't needed in your life to begin with. Just telling the truth here.
  5. Save the drama for your mamma - About 95 percent of what I post on social media is positive, inspirational or informative. I share a lot of links to messages, notes, blogs, articles, photos and media which I am asked to promote organizationally. I love to share about my family. I am PROUD of my children and my wife. The other five percent, I can be a bit snarky and humorous. Perhaps it was mean spirited to say that I programmed the Google Home to not recognize my wife's voice but I had fun telling the world about it - until I fell asleep on the couch last night and she didn't wake me up. Maybe that was karma. Now and then, I will post a hard thought, a negative statement or a passive aggressive line and think better of it and delete it later. I used to post about diabetes a lot, until I realized that on the days I felt poorly, the negative responses from well-intentioned friends would emerge telling me to "take better care of myself" when I had done nothing to cause it. Social media can also be used as criminal evidence in certain cases when the posts incite crime, violence or used in disputes like divorce proceedings and child custody. The point it, social media is not the place for the following:
    • Don't settle disputes on social media
    • Don't argue with family on social media
    • Don't insult others on social media
    • Don't destroy a business and their reputation on social media (contact them privately!)
    • Don't harass people through social media private messaging
    • Don't become political and polarize hot topics on social media
    • Don't be an intentionally angry social activist for ANY TOPIC on social media
    • Don't cause drama and infuriate masses on social media
    • Don't threaten violence and harm on social media
    • Don't insult your employer, church or school on social media
I have been blessed with the positive influence of many people and hope I can do the same.

The intensity of what I post will not slow down; in fact the amount of information I share may increase as each of us learns better ways to digitally network with followers, fans and consumers.

I hope you'll give me a follow, but if not, just ignore it.

But if you have something negative to say, block me first and don't kill my vibe.

Or, let's use Matthew 18 and meet about it face-to-face before the whole world has to see how ugly humans can be to one another.

My number one core value in life is be kind to everyone you meet. Maybe we can all start with the thousands of connections we make every day through an internet site.

Now smile. There's enough grumpy people who follow me already.

I love you and these are my thoughts.

Pastor K/Coach K

P.S. I forgot to add this one part. Jealousy makes you a really ugly personality. Don't be jealous of the success and happenings of others. Be happy for those you love.

Goodness looks wonderful on you.

What's Here When You're Gone (10.28.18 Notes)

What’s Here When You’re Gone
Life and Legacy Week 4
Pastor Kris Freeman
Revolution Church
Sunday, October 28, 2018

Scripture: Matthew 25:14-30 (NLT)

Again, the kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone.

What happened?
    • One invested and doubled his five
    • One worked and doubled his two
    • One hid the bag in a hole (his one)
    • Man returned and asked his servants what they did (Stewardship)

The first two receive the same blessing and commendation:

Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together (v. 21 and 23).

The final servant was lazy, and was reprimanded and he lost his blessing.

The dictionary defines a legacy as “Something transmitted or received from an ancestor or predecessor, or delivered from the past into the future.”

1. Legacy is a chain - it has continuing links that connect to the next.
2. Legacy is a bridge - it crosses from one place to the next

For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. - 2 Timothy 4:6-7.

Paul was writing to Timothy, the young man who would follow him and continue his pastoral, missional and Gospel-centered legacy.

Legacy that ends was never a legacy at all.

What a legacy is not:
  • Legacy is not a monument
  • Legacy is not a memorial
  • Legacy is not a closet
  • Legacy is not a building
  • Legacy is not a forgotten path
  • Legacy is not a person

True legacy takes us from one place to the next.

“Looking to the future for vision, the past for wisdom and the present for people to stand in the middle…looking both directions, who understand why each way is important.”

A key to a Biblical legacy: set the right example.

Example helps us to: talk right, act right, love right, feel right, believe right, hold on to the right things. Paul says give attention to it.

You can’t move forward without looking back, but if you’re always looking back, you will never move forward.

If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness…he is proud, knowing nothing…from such, withdraw yourself. - 1 Timothy 6:3-5 (NLT)

Listen to the things - and the people - that point everything to Jesus.

For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we carry nothing out. - 1 Timothy 6:7

The legacy of our family, our church and our conduct should always point to Jesus.

Does your legacy:

  1. Construct Monuments?
  2. Cut Ties?
  3. Connect bridges

#LifeandLegacy #Bridges

Back to the Drawing Board (10.21.18 Notes)

Back to the Drawing Board
Life and Legacy Week 3
Pastor Kris Freeman
Revolution Church
Sunday, October 21, 2018

Scripture: Luke 10:38-42 (NLT) and John 12:1-8 (NLT)

Before we look into this week’s topic, let’s look back at this scripture from last week. What happens when you are trying to do everything right and then everything goes wrong? You feel like you are captive!

“The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7)

Just because you run into a struggle does not mean the story is over.

But when you do struggle, there are three major things which can happen. Will you have a spirit of:
- Pride
- Poverty
- Gratitude

1. The Spirit of Pride

38 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

The spirit of pride comes from performance based wealth. We have a lot because we work hard for it.
Scriptures we use to back this up - 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Proverbs 10:4, Matt. 25:39

Hard work is a good thing but it’s not always the guaranteed thing.

Three counters to the spirit of pride: embrace suffering; learn from failure; culture of grace.

2. The Spirit of Poverty

12 Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. 2 A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him. 3 Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance.

4 But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, 5 “That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” 6 Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself. 7 Jesus replied, “Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” (John 12:1-8)

The spirit of poverty says that wealth is evil and the only way to be Godly is to be poor.

“When you build wealth, you open yourself up to criticism from people who think wealth is evil. First of all, wealth provided by God can never be evil because He would never promote evil in the lives of His children.” - Dave Ramsey

The Bible actually says the love of money is the root of all evil. Not money itself! (1 Timothy 6:10 NLT)

The spirit of poverty is not only a twist of scripture, it has two siblings: envy & jealousy.

There’s a huge difference between cheap and effective. (Carey Niewhuof)

A spirit of poverty makes us feel guilty about doing things the right way.

3. The Spirit of Gratitude 

The Spirit of Gratitude causes us to live thankful and with a life of worship.

“Obedience, generosity and excellence are natural outcomes of the spirit of gratitude. They are offerings of worship we make to God because we are thankful. It’s not how much we have that matters, but whose it is that matters.” - Dave Ramsey

Finishing it up - you get to choose which of the spirits you take toward your journey.

Whichever spirit you embrace will be the spirit you feed.

Time to Go Home (10.14.18 Notes)

Time to Go Home
Life and Legacy Week 2
Pastor Kris Freeman
Revolution Church
Sunday, October 14, 2018

Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:8 (NLT)

8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

This scripture verse has been used in a number of different ways.
1. To set the foundation for leadership
2. To require of church elders and pastors
3. To establish a foundation for setting a budget

The bottom line - our first responsibility is to make sure we take care of our home and those who are a part of it.

What are some ways we can take care of our home?

  1. Be disciplined in our examples
  2. Be authentic in our relationships
  3. Be stewards in our finances

Stewardship is a word that is very rarely used outside of Biblical cultures.

What does it mean to be a good steward?

  • Our perception - take care of money - that’s what most people think first!
  • Dictionary - the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care.
  • Root - in the Middle Ages, it referred to a positional leader or servant assigned to the management of a large household and group of people. In today’s modern sense, we might call this a broker or an agent.

In a sense, parenting is a role of good stewardship. Marriage requires good stewardship. Business calls for good stewardship.

Did you ever have a curfew?

Even until the time I was an adult living in my parents’ home, I was given freedom to make my own decisions, pay my own bills, but I had a responsibility to be home on time. This was a curfew.

What did this do for my life?
  1. It provided parameters for my freedom.
  2. It provided trust in my decision-making abilities.
  3. It provided discipline to frame my choices.
  4. It provided opportunities for me to learn how to manage myself.

Could a parent truly stop a child who wishes to break curfew? No! But they could suffer the consequences for their actions.

When it comes to the leadership of our home, stewardship is our curfew. It’s our “time to come home” - it’s the return back to the things that matter.

Remember, if our pasts matters to us, so should our future.

Small steps to develop a life and legacy principle of stewardship in your home:

1. Find direction and cast a vision for your family. (True North)

2. Shift our paradigm about debt and responsibility.

“The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7)

3. Be intense about your journey.

The Hedgehog Principle
Gazelle Intensity (Dave Ramsey)

- Quit borrowing money
- Save
- Pick up a second job
- Get rid of things you don’t need (sell)

4. Get the spiritual things in order.

- Read the Bible every day in your home (we are doing this as a church!)
- Pray (individually and together)
- Commit to a local church
- Tithe
- Find the mission for your life and your family (Serve)

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12)